Gifts in unexpected places...

I was given a gift the other day in an unexpected way. It’s taken a week to find the words to describe it.

I was given a gift by being on the receiving end of an uncomfortable conversation.   It truly was a gift.  How is that?  

A tradition important to me required a slightly different approach this year.  Some of the preparations were done with more haste than I would’ve preferred.  An oversight occurred causing worry to grow, unnecessarily. 

That’s all really insignificant but gives some context to the story.  My friend, could have assumed many things about my oversight, none of which would’ve bolstered our friendship.  Instead of letting doubt and worry create a story, she allowed herself to be vulnerable and reached out to me. In her mind whatever outcome the conversation had, would be better than assumptions.

We’d all like to think in situations of unease involving relationships and friendships we’d choose empathy and forgiveness.  But most often that is the harder choice. Let’s face it, life is so full sometimes things slip through the cracks.  It can be easier to brush little hurts or little doubts aside.  Friendships are like silver.  The require work to maintain their sparkle.  Tarnish will appear in the form of misunderstandings, oversights, or poor choices.  It takes effort to polish those tarnishes away.  Now I’m not suggesting you be a door mat to someone who repeatedly tarnishes your sparkle. You need a be a friend to have a friend, and vis versa.

Effort made with genuine intent and honest communication maintains healthy relationships.

Her wisdom didn’t let a little tarnish in our friendship spread. In her act of vulnerability showed how much she valued me and our friendship.  Hows that for a priceless gift? And the tiny investment of coffee and one hour allowed us to have a meaningful conversation which left us with an even better appreciation of each other. 

Uncomfortable conversations.  They are avoided mostly out of fear.  Instead we revert to assumptions and stories which are usually far from the truth. I challenge you to consider choosing vulnerability over fear the next time you have the opportunity.  Opening up in an authentic way invites both clarity and connectivity. Who knows the kind of gift that could be for someone.

Final thoughts…Thanksgiving may be over but gratitude is always in season.  Is there a relationship that would be well served with a little polishing?  Personally I have a few.  It doesn’t require a lot of time and costs only a stamp (and maybe a blank card).  If writing was a love language, that would be mine.  What relationship or friendship can you polish this week with a handwritten note?